28

When I was a kid 28 seemed farther away than Mars. I thought that I'd be married, with the 2.5 kids, Astrovan, dog named Sir Wesley Tittlesworth III, a house and all the relative acoutrements.

Alas, my 28th birthday has come and gone and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't have all the aforementioned "items" and I'm not seeking them anytime soon.

Basically, there's nothing sexy about 28. It's divisible by 7 and 4. The numbers added together equal 10. There's nothing granted to you at your 28th birthday accept a one-way ticket on the bullet train to 30.

Hippies and musicians would like to point out the magical mystical phenomenon of Saturn's Return, and the fact that 27-30 is the vicinity of change; that last bit of postponed adolescense. Am I supposed to have some freak out this year?

Last year was the year of change. I picked up and moved to SF. Now I'm 8 months in trying to find that niche.

I'm happy with my life. Happier than I've been in recent memory. I may be pragmatic but my life's not conventional in the eyes of many around me...and for that I cast a sigh of relief. There's always gonna be room for exploration and self-development if I realize this and seek it out. Kinetic energy was once potential energy.

Enough with the rambling, let's do a list!

Phrases that Imply You're Getting Older

-"Turn that down."
-"Do I need glasses?...Fuck."
-"Goddamn teenagers! Pull your pants up."
-"Sex, sex, sex. It's all about sex! Doesn't anyone even read?"
-"One time, I was playing Duck Hunt on Nintendo..."
-"I'm so over Myspace and Facebook right now."
-"Rap music is dead."
-"My left elbow is achy, you know what that means...it's gonna rain tomorrow."
-"Ouch." (uttered pathetically at least once daily)
-"This is the latest I've stayed up in a while!"
-"I had a Cross Colors t-shirt!"
-"OOOH a 401k Plan! Phat!"
-"When I was your age..."