-Re-enactment of the Nativity scene gone horribly wrong
-Shear gluttony
-Too much Crunk Nog
-Watched "A Christmas Story", licked a frozen pole
-Fruitcake + Wild Turkey+ "Wanna bet I can't do that?"
-Passed out for two hours while making "Drunken Snow Angels"
-Tryptophanasitis
-Boredom due to the Writers' Strike and having to use superfluous vacation time before '08
-Tried to put your crazy uncle in the Figure Four Leg Lock without preliminary stretching
-Punched through your plasma screen TV in a fit of dementia induced by too many meaningless College Football Bowl Games
-Dysentery
-She didn't want a "Dick in the Box" for Hanukkah
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