Illin'

After combating a diabolical flu last week my girlfriend recovered and is getting back to full speed. In her honor, a list:

Why we aren't coming into work today

-I vomited and...I think a boot came out of me.

-One minute I'm colder than Frosty the Snowman, the next I'm so hot I'm sweating like a hooker in Church.

-Does the word "Bile" scare you? Because it should.

-Until now I thought Walking Pneumonia was a myth.

-If I come into work today I WILL cough all over you. I'm like that monkey from "Outbreak" right now. Mad scary yo.

-I'm hella sick (Bay Area Special frequently used by teenagers, also see "I'm hecka sick")

-Everything from my toenails to my hair hurts when I breathe.

-I didn't know you could get bedsores on both sides of your body.

-When I cough, the color Blue comes out.

-My ears vomited.