Where's the Irony?

Has irony lost it's irony?

Think about this one for a minute...

Think about all the things you see hipsters intentionally do for laughs. Now think about how unfunny they are.

The element of shock and awe has all but vanished.

Plotted acts calling for attention seem more contrived now than ever. (Thanks Facebook!)

Is there irony in the ironic?

...?

I guess he's a fan of...

I guess he doesn't wanna catch the...

...Stevie G flu...

Damn, I can't make a proper joke out of this one. I'm just confused.

Who has two thumbs and is an International Deuchebag?

This Guy! Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I'm Marco Materazzi. You may remember me as the guy who said unspeakable things to Zinedine Zidane then got a bald head imprint in my sternum as a reward. Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy! It's me! I'm an overerated (Calcio) soccer player. Heeeeyyyyyyyyyy! I love Los Angeles! Heyyyyyyyyy!

Shows You Should be Watching (on the reg)

-Cake Boss - Wiseguys doin the most incredible cake designs you've ever seen. 1 part Jersey + 1 part Italian Americans + 1 part The Learning Channel. Sweet tooth porn.

-True Blood - "Twilight" is bullshit. Step your game up if you're gonna get on the vampire bandwagon.

-Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - So simple and so catchy. Brilliant like a perfect three-minute pop song that you can't get out of your head (I'm looking at you Black Eyed Peas - "Boom Boom Pow"). The Roots are the house band and have played everything imaginable as intro music for the guests ("Final Countown", "Woody Woodpecker Theme", "I'm on a Boat", "Muffin Tops", "Werewolf Barmitzvah"). Jimmy is great and grows on you with every episode.

-The Daily Show - Where else you gonna get your news?

-No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain - Travel show bliss mixed with food porn. Tony is gritty, raw and over the top but most importantly he keeps it real and honest. He's seen it all twice. Trust him.

No Reservations: San Francisco

It's coming.

August 10th is the debut of the SF episode of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. This episode is way overdue.

Where will Tony go? Will it be SF only? The French Laundry in Napa? Absinthe? Gary Danko? How many taquerias will he hit up? How many times will he dis Chez Panisse?

Tune in.

Cereal

Top 5 Cereal List (in no particular order):

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

2. Frosted Flakes

3. Golden Grahams

4. Honey Nut Cheerios

5. Blueberry Morning

East Bay is OK

I hella heart Oakland.

I dare you...no implore you biased, pompous San Franciscans to get off that island (SF is an island more than a peninsula, let's be frank) and visit the East Bay. We got it goin on over here. Yeah, its more spread out than your dense pseudo-metropolis. Yeah, we drive cars over here. Yeah, its slower over here. But you know what, it's better over here too.

The weather's better than that windy, fogbox you live in. The food's better (yeah, I said it). It's cheaper over here. We have more personal space over here. We have more grass and parks over here. We're the gateway to the rest of California and the U.S. (did you forget?!)

So leave your excuses at your BART station and get your ass over here. Don't front about getting back because you can always sleep on my pull-out couch/bed or I'll drive you back (no sweat!). But it's worth the trip. You don't need a passport to cross the Bay just some initiative.

P.S.--I don't want your pity when I say that I live in the East Bay. There's no other place I'd rather be. Don't furrow your brow and make that sad "ohhh/awww" noise because I don't wanna hear it. Open your horizons. You're San Francisco you're supposed to be liberal.